Here are some actual accounts from across America of some not to bright folks – or to put it another way, intellectually challenged … simply … “dimwits“. They’re not the sharpest tools in the shed – some may even be close to 51 cards short of a full deck. Sit back and enjoy
A Mom’s Not-To-Bright Solution
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation, happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
Here’s your sign, lady - Wear it with pride.
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Not quite eligible for employees of the month
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747’s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. Needless to say, they are no longer employed at Boeing.
Here’s your sign guys – Don’t get it wet – the paint might run.
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Stay in school kids … and pay attention
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the local branch and wrote on a deposit slip, “this iz a stikkup - Put all yur muny in this bag.” While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller’s window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors, that he wasn’t the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, “OK” and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
Don’t bother with this guy’s sign - He probably couldn’t read it anyway.
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A picture is worth a thousand words or…..
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail, a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time, of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
Smartass – But you still get a sign.
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Wisdom versus age
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, “You don’t look like you’re over 21.“ The robber insisted he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn’t believe him. At this point, the robber, getting flustered, took his driver’s license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and acknowledged that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.
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Not following directions can be hazardous to your health
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, “Nobody move or I’ll shoot!” When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn’t even deserve a sign.
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Willpower versus a “higher power”
From a small town in Arkansas ~ Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So, he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window . The cinder block bounced back, hitting him in the head, instantly knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of plexi-glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.
Yep, here’s your sign.
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Sign, sign, everywhere a sign…
I live in a semi-rural area (Weyauwega, Wisconsin). We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the “Deer Crossing” sign on our road. The reason being (and I quote) “Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! – I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore”.
Probably wouldn’t even know what to do with the sign anyways.
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Thought for the week …..
To err is human, but being an idiot takes something special.
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http://www.supertips.com/ultimate/x/?id=3241
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