Stupid Warning Labels

Our lawsuit-obsessed society has forced product manufacturers to cover their “you-know-whats” by writing warning labels to protect us from ourselves. Some are funny - some are absolutely ridiculous, but all are guaranteed to stand up in court. Enjoy :)

1. Child-size Superman and Batman costumes come with this warning label: “Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.”

2. A clothes iron comes with this caution: “Warning: Never iron clothes on the body.” Ouch!

3. The instructions for a medical thermometer advise: “Do not use orally after using rectally.”

4. The side of a Slush Puppy cup warns: “This ice may be cold.” The only thing dumber than this would be a disclaimer stating: “No puppies were harmed in the making of this product.”

5. The box of a 500-piece puzzle reads: “Some assembly required.”

6. A Power Puff Girls costume discourages: “You cannot save the world!”

7. A box of PMS relief tablets has this advice: “Warning: Do not use if you have prostate problems.”

8. Cans of Easy Cheese contain this instruction: “For best results, remove cap.”

9. A warning label on a nighttime sleep-aid reads: “Warning: May cause drowsiness.”

10. Cans of self-defense pepper spray caution: “May irritate eyes.”

11. Both boys and girls should read the label on the Harry Potter toy broom: “This broom does not actually fly.”

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Here, for your continued enjoyment are 20 more of the dumbest examples of this phenomenon:

1. CD Player > Do not use the Ultradisc2000 as a projectile in a catapult
2. Electric Router > This product is not intended for use as a dental drill
3. Chainsaw > Do not attempt to stop chain with hands
4. Dishwasher > Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher
5. Fireplace Log > Caution, risk of fire
6. Sleeping Pills > Warning: May cause Drowsiness
7. Underarm spray deodorant > Do not spray in eyes
8. Hair Dryer > Never use hairdryer while sleeping
9. Laser Printer Toner > Do not eat toner
10. Small Wheeled Wheelbarrow > Not intended for highway use
11. TV Remote Control > Not dishwasher safe
12. Car Windscreen Sun shield > Do not drive with sun shield in place
13. Bathroom Heater > This product is not to be used in bathrooms
14. Air Conditioner > Do not place hand in fan whilst fan is running
15. Bicyclist’s Shin Guards > Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body that they do not cover
16. TV Set Manual > Do not pour liquids into the TV
17. CD Player > Warning: Dangerous warning inside
18. Birthday Candles > Do not use soft wax as earplugs or any other function that involves insertion into body cavity
19. Baby Stroller > Remove baby before folding
20. Aim-n-Flame Fireplace Lighter > Do not use near fire, flame or sparks

This list was sourced from the book “Unusually Stupid Americans” published by Villard in 2003

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